Complete

On 5th sept. 2013 we became parents to a baby girl. :) Arjun loves his baby sister. :) Becoming parents all over again is wonderful.

Kids Jumbo: my school's name !

Arjun my son would be starting school from 16thOctober. This is our last week together where we can have him to ourselves. He will be  a grown boy now. Towards the end of my pregnancy I would want to keep Arjun to myself safe and sound within me :) sometimes forever. Arjun's daddy is feeling sorry for him..here begins his life..

I was telling him and myself to look at it this way..he will have first friends in his life. My boy is so full of wonder about the world around him. He will get to hang out with people his age. He will be 2.4yrs this month. He will like school I am sure. He is more social than I ever was..much more tolerant than I am and much more adaptable. Today I woke him up a little earlier than his usual wakeup time and bathed him quickly to see if could get ready by 8.30 for the 9 o'clock school. We managed to get ready almost half an hour before time.

Time flies.. Arjun speaks so much now. That unconditional love he showers upon us..particularly me..It's the best thing that can happen to anyone.  Motherhood.

More than him I am worried about how I will manage to leave him at school on the 1st day. I just pray to the Goddess as she is the mother to us all that I am letting my son take his first step in the world out there, I won't be there all the time with him at his every step but she would be..so for her to be there for my Arjun as his protector throughout his life even as he becomes a man of fifty and hundred someday.

Waves ripple

The sea once tries to tell the waves, story of the water playing dead in the river. But the waves know better. The river has its water living life differently. Waves bubble. River has its ripples.  Foam is the afterthought. The ripple probably is the wrikle on the forehead for the river as it tries to share a tale

It is like that..

The tenderness like that in the moment when the tear rolls down and a fingertip touches it lightly..Racing pulse like that of a kingfisher as he dives with strength in the water. Love is like that.

Love is like that tear that fills your eye but doesn't fall when some good old memory crosses your path. It is the millionth 'why' you ask yourself knowing you don't have an answer even the millionth time :)

In a thick rain forest a tree falls down. New shoots come. But the earth holds tight to the roots of the tree that fell.

Old Sliver

Today I came across my old silver rings and bracelets and other silver stuff. Silver that has turned black. The rings I wore as a teenager.. stuff that defined my spirit then. I always liked gray more than golden. It has a depth I used to say.

One particular rose ring that a silversmith created for me and a silver pen; I found them again today after a couple of years. I keep them such that I find them again after every some while. It reminds me of those times I wore silver. The younger me had more layers sometimes I feel. Silver would make me feel that the metal is able to reflect those dark corners in my mind, those blanks in my sentences, those poems I left incomplete. The gray said it all about me.

Today sometimes I find that old silver and wear a ring or two for sometime. Every time I keep it back. It doesn't return the spirit I once had. It only gives me a memory of what I was.

:)

I don't know what life was like before I became a mother on 18th May, 2010. I used to blog then.. and if nothing at all I miss that element of my earlier life a lot. I will not blame it on time or the toddler who was a baby once for not letting me blog. Some experiences are too fulfilling and leave no space for words to fill in and explain how it felt.

I can't explain the tear that rolled down my cheek when I heard my son's first cry.

I can't explain how good it feels..

But blog I will..whenever I can.

It takes strength to create and stupidity to devastate. The waves called me out. I have been listening to their rhythm every night. The waves missed the rhythm of my beats. Long hair open, running free like the ocean foam grey in the midnight. Feel of the sand under my feet again..footprint or no footprint..I was there at the sea last night.

Lost

Do you feel lost in your own lane sometimes? The block had a home, your home somewhere down there. You return back home one day and realise you are lost in your own lane. You can't just find the home at all. It is maybe like you have outgrown your old t-shirt. Your home has outgrown you, or you have outgrown the home.

I am not returning today. I am on my way to a discovery. Is it the wooden twigs that I need to find for the nest or is it the hollow in that bark? Or maybe if I look harder I might find myself in some lost time with some lost home.

I am not returning back from here. I am on my way to a discovery.